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Damn girl you form subatomic particles and incite nuclear fusion with that ass?
Posted on 10th Jan at 5:17 PM, with 246 notes

gomjabbar:

my bf’s ass is like a whetstone and now my dick is so sharp it makes whistling noises when it swings around

Posted on 10th Jan at 1:56 PM, with 30,713 notes

gotitforcheap:

her: wow you came pretty quick

me: AGDQ 2015 Sex With Hot Girl Speed Run #AGDQS2015 
announcer: awesome sauce, we got a 10 dollar donation from mengaman and he says “good luck with the sex”

Posted on 10th Jan at 12:36 PM, with 49,942 notes

lvl-5-kobold:

i just had the funniest experience in vr chat, i joined a random server and the one i joined had Japanese people so i waddled around in my goofy club penguin avatar that i have saved, after a while a guy walks up to me and clones my avatar so were both penguins then another guy shows up and clone my avatar

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now keep in mind there only speaking Japanese i don’t know what they are saying, then another guy joins in, so i got a group of three penguin friends

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we just waddle around and goof about, the one of them tries to talk to me, but not only do i not have a mic i also don’t speak Japanese, they figure out i don’t speak Japanese and start listing various places, they get the part of being European right, and after listing a lot of places they ask if im from the UK and when i nod they all just start cheering. after hanging out for a while one of them gets real close to me and whispers…

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“penguin brothers forever”

Posted on 10th Jan at 12:35 PM, with 2,554 notes

deepnest:

best stand user in all of jojos was the italian chef who just wanted to make people happy by cooking good and healthy food god i would marry him

Posted on 10th Jan at 12:34 PM, with 116 notes

gothicprep:

gothicprep:

do you figure that our NSA wiretaps are temporarily relieved of their duties during the government shutdown? bc if so I have a few things to consider doing…

Alexa… play “we built this city” by starship…

Posted on 10th Jan at 12:33 PM, with 44,015 notes

chuckle-voodooz:

chuckle-voodooz:

Did Trump seriously shut down the US government because he’s not getting his way with the damn wall shit

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OH I SEE

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